Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday's Nostalgia

I am having that moment. The moment of nostalgia.  I can picture my family rolling their eyes at this very moment.  They have known it would come for weeks now. It always happens to me towards the end of anything and especially towards the end of summer.  That feeling where I know summer is about to end and I start to reminisce about the past weeks and the short time ahead that fades like the daylight. I think it stems from all those summers sailing and laying low, then boom, school starts again.  Such a let down. Then it was after every summer at Sail Caribbean that I had this total and complete meltdown about the end of the summer and season!  We call it the adjourning stage at SC. And let me tell you, I adjourn HARD.

The annual photo at Madaket Harbor - 3 summers and counting
I mean, its embarrassing really, but for some reason its in my nature.

I haven't even really enjoyed this summer and still I am nostalgic.  Let me back up a quick second.  I'm not saying that my summer has been bad by any means, but I have been working 7 days a week, 10-15 hours a day.  Its hard to enjoy it when you know that now is the time to make your living.  Last weekend I took off some time for Nantucket Race Week and Opera House Cup and on Monday night I regretted it.  I hate that.  I should be able to take a few days/nights off and ENJOY my favorite month of the summer!  But its a tricky balance that I haven't quite mastered.

But then today one of my little sailors told me he was leaving Monday to go back home for the season. That made my sad and got me to thinking about the end in sight.  I should be relieved that its almost over...that Andrew and I will go back to normalcy and no longer do this long distance thing...that we can finally get working on our house in Tiverton and start to spend time with our friends again...that we will spend time with family and look forward to my sister's wedding etc etc etc. But I get sad because I have grown accustomed to this lifestyle, workaholic summer, people and place.  Even though Nantucket annoys Andrew with its rich and mostly demanding people and places, I love this island. I love that I found the man of my dreams here and that I became more of a New England girl.  I love the incredible beauty of the island, breakfast at the Downy Flake, sailing every day, window shopping in town, and boats that come in and out of the harbor week by week.  It is a magical little place and with a third summer here, it is becoming a piece of home.

And so I am nostalgic about one more change, one more island and one more summer that will soon be in the past.

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