Thoughts on Turning 30

There is a lot of hype surrounding big milestones: graduations, weddings, christenings, and most of all, birthdays celebrating new decades. And this year just so happens to be the BIG 3-0 for me.

In fact tomorrow I will leave the days of my 20s behind and open the door to my 30's. Everyone has different feelings, emotions, and thoughts surrounding this time…most of my friends have been in my shoes already and have their varying thoughts to share. Some people are longing to go back to their 20's - to freedom, naiveté, selfishness, wanderlust, and carefree days. And some people are happy to leave their bad decisions, messy ups and downs, and growing pains behind.

I look back fondly on my 20's.  Travel had the most profound impact on my 20's.  In 10 years I explored over 10 countries, lived and worked on 2 islands, and took countless flights to see friends and family all over the country and world. I not only saw incredible places, but I experienced diverse cultures and environments, connected with unique individuals, and slowly figured out who I was and who I wanted to be.

I also recognize that my 20's were incredibly difficult. I don't agree (in a lot of ways) that your 20's are the best years of your life - they are really great, don't get me wrong, but no one tells you just how HARD it is. I was sheltered as a kid - protected from life's realities as best as possible. But my 20's were about figuring out a lot of the harsh realities of life. Taxes, car insurance, loans, health issues, and things just generally not working out in my favor…I didn't know who I was, who I was supposed to love, where I should live, what car to buy, how much money I should make to live + save, or how my life might play out. A lot of what-ifs for a planner. A planner who has always wanted everything to be just so…to be in order, to be figured out.

Slowly as I gained traction on my 20's, I did figure out a few things. I finally uncovered that it can't be in order, all the time; that it is not all within my control and things were always going to happen - that is the beauty, that is LIFE.  I figured out WHO I wanted to love. WHERE I wanted to live. And WHAT I wanted to do. I learned that comparison is the thief of joy and that being ME was the truest thing I could be. I learned that saying NO is hard, but healthy, and I need to practice it more. I learned that I can do ANYTHING, but I can't do EVERYTHING. A hard pill to swallow for an overachiever. I recognized that I get hangry sometimes and I can prevent it. I learned that sometimes things just work out. I learned time and time again that if things don't feel right, don't do it.  Plain and simple. I learned that talking to a best friend is sometimes the only therapy you need.  I learned through time and trial and error to not promise when I'm happy, not reply when I'm angry, and not decide when I'm sad.  I also learned that worrying won't stop the bad things from happening, it just stops you from enjoying the good. 

Looking back, my 20's were all about growth, in myself and my outlook on life. There was a lot of change, a lot of fun, and a lot of freedom. It's not to say that I won't grow or change in my 30's, I know I will, but I welcome this new decade, of having lots of the big stuff figured out.  

If I learn anything in my 30's I hope it's this...grace not perfection. 

I go back to my favorite quote by C.S. Lewis time and time again as I enter this new decade of growth, experience, and adventure. Cheers to 30 years! 

Mud Room Reveal

Another Renovation Reveal at the Coughlins is LIVE!

My mud room dreams came alive in this simple house renovation.  This project was low budget, caused minimal mess, was completed in a short timeframe (in comparison to every other room), and made the WORLD of a difference!



When the reno started back in January, our goal was to finish this project in 4-6 weeks. As timelines go, we got behind shortly after due to winter sicknesses.  Despite that, we picked away at the project little by little, night by night and weekend by weekend. A few hours here and there and suddenly the space was transformed in 2 short months.

In two months we replaced the plaster walls with sheetrock; tore out the red stair treads and added new pine treads; put in can lights and new electrical; added built-in cubbies; added a new railing; painted and polyed and filled holes. It was one of the most enjoyable house projects we've done so far - low stress, low $$, and such a visible difference.

Effective storage space was our ultimate goal for this project.  Lots of space for boots, jackets, hats & mittens. Plenty of cubbies and hooks to hang up our things when we come in the door. We even added shelving for all the miscellaneous house items. A nice, clean, crisp catch-all spot.

What we originally missed in a hall closet we have now found in this new mud room/stairwell. We could not be happier with the outcome!

Sources: 

Wall Paint | Sherwin Williams Eider White

Trim Paint | Sherwin Williams Pure White

Lobster hooks | Antique Store

Paddle | Brimfield Antiques

Tote Bag | LL Bean

Wicker Baskets | Target

Wire Baskets - Home Goods

Home Body

I have become that person. That person who craves the security of being at home.  Who stands in fear at change and leaving my safe place if only for a week. A Home Body.

I used to be an adventurer. Traveling was my drug. Change was my way of coping with reality. Of figuring out who I was. I hopped on planes and boats at the drop of a hat, all with just a few duffles in tow.

But now I am a wife. And a fur baby mama. And I pay a mortgage and own a business. And these past 4 years in Rhode Island, of living out of drawers, has changed me.  After years of running around and trying to figure it all out, I feel at home, not only in our physical home, but in this place I am in life. I finally feel secure in my career path, whole heartedly devoted to my one and only, and in love with this sweet community of people whom we’ve come to call family. And in these 4 years I have watched myself evolve from an independent adventurer to more and more of a home body.

Moose is a Home Body too. The boy seemingly will have no energy at the start of a walk, but if you mention home, he sprints past you and looks back only to say “Hurry, Mom, lets go home!”. He knows home, his people, and the place he feels safest.  Moose has recreated my home – honestly, I didn’t know a dog could take up such a large part of my heart and redefine the meaning of home for me.

It took me by surprise this week. To tell Andrew that Moose was a Home Body, and then turn around and think, “well, hell, so am I!”. Mid-20s Maria would have laughed at this nearly 30 Maria. Like on the floor laughed at this 30-Maria who got on a plane today bound for the Caribbean and was sad to leave home. Sad to leave if only for one week. In fact, Andrew had to convince me to go and get on that plane. Umbrella drinks, dreamy Caribbean days, and hopping from one boat to another aren’t my home anymore.

And in some ways, this is a comfort to me. When I moved back stateside 4 years ago, I had just spent the previous 5 years of bouncing around and living the yachtie lifestyle, and  I didn’t know if I’d ever make it to this home feeling. The first few years were tough - I always felt that I was missing something better. That what I’d had was as good as it would ever be. That warmer weather can cure anything (which, sorry, it can, but living in the Caribbean isn’t all rainbows and butterflies either). That if I stop traveling and moving from place to place, that my dreams would end.  And I felt like that for a long while.

Somehow over time though, my perceptions changed, and I evolved into who I am today – a woman with ambition, compassion, determination and an adventuress soul who now craves home. I have this feeling of content and joy in my place in life. This is what I have been waiting for and what I was reminded of today. That my anxiety and discomfort with change, is only to remind me of where I am and how grateful I am for this place called home. And that the truth in my heart knows, “there are far better things ahead than we leave behind”.